I did something different in my quiet time today. Instead of reflecting on what the Scripture said and writing it down, I just wrote about where I was at. It had nothing to do with what I had read. (Ephesians 4 if you’re wondering. It’s really good).
So I came up with this…
I read Ephesians 4 today. It was really good and full of turth and power, but I don’t want to write about that today.
I would rather reflect on how lonely this past weekend has been.
I keep getting chills every time I stop writing to think. There it is again.
I’ve felt very alone the past few days. I had little to no human interaction. I went to lunch and dinner with friends a few times, but they felt empty, forced, obligatory.
I had to stop writing just now as “Fill Me Up” by United Pursuit Band came on my quiet time playlist.
I let it permeate in me; the music, the lyrics, the presence of God and His anointing that I thirst for so often.
I need Him so much.
This weekend was a great example of how broken I really am. I love bringing Joy to people’s day. Yet I try to remain in a state of brokenness so I can remember where that Joy comes from. It’s not me, that’s for sure.
I‘m sure this all is very confusing to some of people, as my thoughts are often one giant clump. But, this is how I’ve felt.
No practical solutions. No change of pace. No happy ending to the story or thought. Just raw and simple as it is. A lot of this entry is is unfinished thoughts and emotions. So finish them with your own thoughts and feelings.
Evaluate your state.
I’m Broken. Always have been. And I will remain Broken until the day I’m in my Abba’s arms. It’s the only way I know how to live.
You should try it.
J. Harrison Peaks