Happening inside of me.
Love like I have never felt is brewing inside of me.
Christ is stirring up emotions and passions inside of me.
Inside of me.
What’s going on in there? I don’t know, but Jesus is doing something crazy in my heart right now. And I love it. There is an overflow of joy and love and peace and grace that I want to share with my friends. I feel so alive.
I am overwhelmed with excitement for this semester. I anticipate excellence in all areas of my life. I really wish I could impart this wonderful place that I am in right now to each of you.
I know what you’re wondering right now: You know this “spiritual high” will fade with time, right?
That’s where you’re wrong. I wouldn’t call this a “spiritual high” because firstly, I don’t believe in such a thing as that, and secondly, because I am simply not at that place. It’s more of a consistency thing. I am consistent in my prayer life. I am consistent in my time with God (mostly). I am consistent in my relationships. I don’t necessarily feel emotionally connected or anything. I am just simply living in a world of consistency. Honesty in every area. I still struggle and get worn down, but I still dedicate one hundred percent of myself in others when I can.
I highly recommend seeking this place in your heart and mind.
Follow His Heart.
Time to start writing again.
It’s a new year. It’s a new semester. Many things to be done, discovered, experienced, and forgotten. I seem to have been living in this world of association. I associated certain places or people with other places or people. Lynchburg, for example, I associate with Liberty, college, certain friends, Vision, and love.
Why love? Well I fell in love for the first time in my life while living in Lynchburg. And a bond that strong and deep is hard to get rid of. Especially when that love is associated with the rest of my life in this city. Everything and everyone is linked (in my mind) to that one person. Should it be? Probably not. But that’s how my mind has been operating the past year and a half. But it’s time to move on. Time to press forth into the abysmal nothingness ahead of me.
Now when I say “nothingness”, I am not referencing death or depression, but rather the unknown. See I’m a planner. I am organized. I like things in their place. I like my stuff in order. I like knowing what’s ahead.
God knows what’s ahead.
And it will stay that way. I won’t know what’s next. I hate not knowing. I fear the unknown. More than most people I know. But it’s for the best. If I knew what was going to happen, I would probably screw it up trying to either change it or make sure it happened correctly. Either way, it’s like this for a reason. When I think about it, I do a better job when God throws a curveball at me. Maybe He’s getting me ready for something bigger. Something I won’t see coming, but somehow I’ll be ready for it.
This semester is a fresh new start for me, and I plan on making the most of it. I just got some new white Vans and they are already getting dirty and worn. I find this almost prophetic. It’s gonna be a great semester, but there will be battles and hard times that will wear on me. I look forward to the blessings as well as the adversity. The shoes will get more worn and dirty as I get messy in my ministry and relationships. Not in a bad way. It’s like I’m going to be rolling around in the mud of life. My friendships ad relationships will have tough, strenuous times. Yet they will strengthen. At least the ones that matter and are mutually important will last. I want to get down and dirty and messy with my relationships. With my friends. With my Jesus. With myself. It’s go time.
Bring it on.
Bring it on.